Knowing About Campus Safety
Posted by seo What Your Daughter Needs to Know
Mothers have cautioned children to avoid strangers. How unfortunate that adults only ever warned their children to beware of the unfamiliar .
Every fall , a new group of young students journey off to campus , totally ignorant of the most likely source of danger – and it’s not strangers. Most people need self defense from the people they know.
The Majority of Attackers Already Know their Rape Victims
Being threatened or raped by a friend carries a whole new set of baggage that teen victims are particularly ill equipped to handle. There is a betrayal of trust . They’ll feel more responsible . There is frequently less sympathy from friends, who with divided loyalties. And usually there is a heightened sense of shame when friends talk .
When rape is ignored , as it still frequently might be , as nothing more than drunken antics at a party, the victim becomes the target. When even the victim believes that the attack wasn’t really rape- just a mistake , young lives get seriously messed up . It happens year after year , on every campus in every state .
Too Often, Rape Goes Unreported
Intuitively , everyone accepts that to be the truth . . About 60% of cases are not ever reported. But the friend / college / dating rape statistics are even worse . Up to 90% of these occurrences are not reported .
That means that in nine out of ten cases you’re looking at a crime that carries no penalty for anyone but the victim.
There are a lot of reasons why this happens .
Don’t underestimate the terrible power of embarrassment, shame, fear , peer pressure, confusion , misplaced loyalty, pride, ridicule or self blame . Lot’s of women fool themselves into believing . “It’s ok. It’s nothing. I’ll get over this,” but they carry the pain with them for years. It can harm them and their relationships, for a long time .
So this is what needs to be understood about campus self defense .
* Usually we feel better knowing that if a person commits a crime against us they will pay . Well, the odds are that if a friend or date sexually assaults you, they’ll get away with it. So, your best shot at justice is prevention. Carry a personal alarm and use it.
* When you mix students and alcohol , bad things often result and parties can very easily slide out of control . If you’ve been drinking with a couple of guy friends and they turn on you , people will blame you . It’s wrong , but that won’t matter .
* When your intuition says something is not right , stop and listen . If a date is making your uncomfortable , say so . Tell them to, “STOP RIGHT NOW”. Do not waffle Don’t equivocate . Do not worry about feeling silly or embarrassed or hurting anyone’s feelings. Once you’ve made that clear , leave . No big scene is needed , just say that it’s time to go . Tonight is over.
* When your common sense says something is strange with a new relationship , stop and listen . It’s easy to be carried away by the perfect guy and miss the danger indicators of a potentially abusive relationship.
* Don’t bail on a friend when she’s had too much to drink . There will always be another event , another Saturday night , but your friend needs you and as obnoxious as she might be – take command and get her out of trouble .
* Never go out to parties or clubbing alone . Go with someone who won’t leave you to your own devices if you lose control , no matter how much of a pain you can be .
* A college and university campus is populated with many kinds of people. No one has an automatic right to your trust. There will be people there who are NOT like the friends you grew up with and don’t deserve your trust, so hand it out cautiously
